WARD, I’M WORRIED ABOUT TV COMEDY

by Truth or Derrick

 

All I wanted was a laugh.

 

After barely surviving the desolate, empty wasteland that was Summer Comedy 2002 in movies and television, the need to sincerely chuckle was overpowering. I needed to find something funny, fast, or I was finished. As the comedic thoughts slowly crept out of my brain, I started to become nothing but a lifeless blob of drama and suspense.

 

I needed to laugh.

 

In one final attempt to reclaim myself from this utter and complete darkness that would surely befall me soon, I rummaged desperately through some old videos and it was then that I found an old tape of "Saturday Night Live" starting back in the days of John Belushi, Dan Ackroyd, Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy.

 

Why didn't I think about this sooner? The clever, political and sometimes silly humor of "Saturday Night Live" was exactly what I needed to feed this comedic craving.

 

Thus, I was not at all hesitant to tune in to NBC that Saturday night, eagerly awaiting more fun.

 

What I found, however, was a dry collection of stale jokes, twitching occasionally with surprisingly explicit references to body parts. Aside from the first five minutes, which were reruns of opening sketches by past SNL star Will Ferrell almost all the show's political and societal humor was replaced with sexual innuendo and silly gags, usually sexually silly gags.

 

In fact, this exact humor is found in nearly every TV show on nowadays, excluding "Judge Judy," whose humor is defined by the humor of watching stupid people, and reruns of "Matlock."

 

Many years ago, life was hard. Those were the days where you had to work. Writers didn't know all the tricks and shortcuts that make life so much more convenient. Shows like "Cheers," "Seinfeld" and "Saturday Night Live" took a long time to write even one episode.

 

Obviously, that created a huge gap in their social life, and something had to happen. Writers needed to find a way to spend less time on their shows and get paid more.

 

As bad as those days were, the real beginnings of sitcoms were even worse. In the days of shows like "Andy Griffith," writers couldn't rely on sex at all, and they had absolutely nothing to work with except true, classic comedy. And don't forget the huge amounts of raw, freshly picked corn.

 

Those writers were so naïve.

 

"Seinfeld" appeared in the late dark ages, when writers were first discovering the use of sex in sitcoms. However, they were still young and inexperienced, and they spent countless hours coming up with truly clever comedy, thus making it one of the funniest shows in history. Its thesis was to be a show about nothing, and the brilliant staff took that idea and made eight years worth of quality nothingness, which made the show's humor relatable. That show earned 66 Emmy nominations, with 10 wins.

 

The days of "Cheers" were even more in the past, and therefore had a pretty consistent supply of clever humor, and what did it have to show for it? Writer's cramp? Countless social blunders? How about 29 Emmy Awards with a total of 117 nominations?

 

These shows are off the air took time away from writers' lives, and luckily, are now all cancelled.

 

Then, there were some writers that thought maybe they'd just try focusing on sexual innuendo with a group of young friends and see where it took them. That moment was a turning point in television history, because the show happened to do very well and is still on TV. Writers discovered something crucial: audiences loved sex! The success of "Friends" was a writer's dream. It may have been hard to believe, but who could argue? In fact, many writers didn't even think of many creative things they could do with sex, just the mere mention of it was sufficient.

 

Those writers are geniuses! Finally, they saw the light!

 

But that was not the end. Writers found yet another best friend: laugh tracks. They had been used before, but now, the script could be nothing but sex, and when everyone else is laughing like it's funny, that makes it funny. That means that writers don't even have to think about making the sexual jokes clever. Just add clapping, or whoopees to the laugh track, and they're set.

 

Writers have gotten so used to these modern short cuts of laugh tracks and sex that it's all the use, thus eliminating the truly funniness on television.

 

"The Simpsons" is one of the only shows that has stayed consistently funny, although now even it is more unfun than fun. The reruns, though, are absolutely hilarious. If reruns count, "The Simpsons" is the funniest show on television. Every minute or less, there is another gag, or political joke, plot joke or hilarious comment on society.

 

So, I give you a very difficult challenge, television viewers of America: strop watching stupid shows. If we all stop, writers will realize they were better off writing with their brains.

 

And trust me, you won't be missing much.