The UnOfficial Site of Truth or Derrick!

RECALL TOLEDO! ELECT TRUTH OR DERRICK!

By Truth or Derrick

I've always wanted to be principal.

I mean, think about it. They get to have an office, talk on the intercom, expel people, take free rides in those cool golf carts whenever they want, have convenient "meetings" whenever journalism students want to interview them, the list goes on and on.

But of course not, I tell myself. I am never going to be a principal. What do I have that all the others don't, except for maybe a few bucks, a dashing smile and a blank sheet of paper? "Wait, no!" I tell myself. "You have more than that, Truth or Derrick!"

And just as the wheels in my head start turning, I begin remembering, "Oh yeah! I would make a great principal!" And at this very state of epitomical ecstasy, I pick up this tabloid from my desk, which is just collecting dust. I thumb through and I find this article:

STOCKTON - As the recall election for California Governor heats up, the big question on everybody's mind is this: Does California really want a terminator for a governor?

The answer is a clear "no," and that is why we are having this recall to begin with; to get a governor that won't "terminate" our budget, our electricity, etc.

So the question shifts to: "Well, then, who should be our new Governor? A big actor? A short actor? A stripper?"

And then there's always the possibility to consider that this recall will be shortly followed by dozens upon dozens of recall copycats. For example, a local student columnist at Bear Creek High School has recently announced that he wished to recall his principal, Bill Toledo, to become the world's first tenth grade princi......

I stop reading here. "Yes!" I tell myself. "This is a great idea!"

See, this is the great thing about tabloids. They make a living on being creative! True, they ruin lives with some of their creative stories, but they can you the best ideas when you're feeling down on ideas!

So what do you think, students of Bear Creek? Don't you want a new principal? One that has a few bucks, a dashing smile, some paper?

Well, to put it frankly, I can be all those things and more. And I am using this column, which you all read, to once and for all put my hat in the race for a new principal at Bear Creek High School. No more messing around.

I promise to fix all the problems that you have with your blue and silver. In fact, would you like to change that? When I am principal, the official Bear Creek colors will be changed to magenta and aquamarine. Remember, as principal, I will have access to everything, so if any of you need anything, don't hesitate to ask if you need a quick grade change or an off-campus pass or anything.

So now, students of Bear Creek, it's up to you. You, too, can use this column. Simply sign your name on one of the lines at the bottom and send it to me. Try not to forge. I'll be in journalism, making campaign posters.

Hasta la vista, Toledo.

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