ASK DERRICK: READERS WANT THE TRUTH…THEY GET TRUTH OR DERRICK

By Truth or Derrick

 

Truth or Derrick gets thousands of letters every year.

 

These letters tackle real entertainment issues, but often are never published because there are simply too many. And, due to budget cuts, only select stories are printed and they always seem to be the "more important ones" like Student Government scandals and apathy in athletics.

 

As the school year ends, the time has finally come to publish these letters that have been collecting dust in the Truth or Derrick file.

 

 

Dear Truth or Derrick,

 

I recently got into a huge fight with my boyfriend "Fred." We were both screaming and throwing things and he threatened to break up with me. All this started from a small television incident. Both our favorite TV shows come on at the same time. I really wanted to watch "Mr. Personality," but Fred wanted to watch "CSI: Miami."

 

"You like your stupid show more than me, don't you?" Fread screamed. "Well guess what? I like your best friend more than you!"

 

Truth or Derrick, what should I do? In your entertainment experience, how would somebody fix a prime time problem like this one?

 

-Prime time problem in Los Angeles

 

 

Dear Problem,

 

Television has a history of breaking up relationships. Your situation is not as uncommon as you may think. The best thing you can do is compromise with Fred. A VCR and a blank tape may be the solution.

 

 

Dear Truth or Derrick,

 

Just how many "Land Before Time's" are there?

 

Sick of the Stupid Dinosaurs in South Carolina

 

 

Dear Sick,

 

There are nine. Actually, there's also a "Land Before Time" sing-a-long tape. Let's put it this way: If you were to watch them all, one after another, excluding the sing-a-long, it would take you exactly 11 hours. If you have a little brother or sister who likes watching each one over and over again...you do the math.

 

 

Dear Truth or Derrick,

 

I was helping out at a convalescent home near my house and I was playing "Name That Movie Line" with one of the ladies there. She said the movie she was thinking of had these five British boys under water and they sang a lot. She also said that the movie reminded her of "those bad drugs." She gave me the line, but then forgot what she was saying. Here's the line: "Hey Ringo, I just had the strangest dream." "I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach." I haven't been able to figure out what movie it was, and it's been KILLING me! Please help!

 

-Joshua

 

 

Dear Joshua,

 

The movie the lady was thinking of is called "Yellow Submarine." The Beatles made the cartoon in 1968 based on their song. It's about the Beatles helping a man in a yellow submarine, and fighting the evil Chief Meanie. It's quite a trip; only watch it if you survive "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."

 

 

Dear Truth or Derrick,

 

Have you ever dated a celebrity?

 

-Wondering in California

 

 

Dear Wondering,

 

The stories that you've been hearing are true. I once had a "thing" with Oscar-winner Catherine Zeta Jones, but it didn't last because she said she doesn't like huge age differences between her and her man.